?

Log in

No account? Create an account

A girl with a girl having a girl

Tina

4/26/05 04:12 pm - Finally finished Daralyn's nursery!!!

For baby Dara, her new room!Collapse )

4/22/05 12:48 pm - My beautiful Daralyn

Using Al's laptop while everyone is out getting lunch in the hospital cafeteria.

I'm so full of emotions right now. One moment, I'm a pregnant woman. The next moment, I'm a mother for gods' sake! I can't believe it, it happened quicker than I knew.

Now I feel completely stuck between Alice and Bette. Part of me wonders if Bette is right, am I using Alice because she is being so nice to me? Or maybe it's just nice to be listened to for a change. And we have so much fun. The other part is saying that maybe for some reason, Bette and I belong together, and her cheating on me with Cuntdice was just a test to see how strong we were.

But I'm pretty sure that I failed that test. Or we failed it.

Bette, how can you be sorry for what you did, if you want me to forgive you? If you were truly sorry, you could never expect my forgiveness. And now we have a child.

I don't want Dara to grow up in a warfare environment. I want to make nice with Bette, and still be with Alice. I don't know how it will work.

I can't WAIT to see the nursery at Mommy Bette's house though. I know it will be beautiful because Bette just has such class, such a great style.

As far as our nursery at home, there's a lot left to be done! I still need to have the kids from HSJ to come down and do their mural on one of the walls. Maybe when I'm feeling better.

Right now I have to rest and let my scar heal. Little Daralyn is resting too. She's soo tiny and fragile! I can't believe she's so new. I still have shower gifts to open too!! Maybe we can open them together.

4/21/05 02:06 pm - A CHILD IS BORN!!!

On Thursday, April 21st at 2:06 P.M., Tina Kennard gave birth to Daralyn Bettina Porter-Kennard was born, weighing 4 lbs 13 oz. She is slightly premature but otherwise healthy. She has creamy skin the color of Bettes, with bright green eyes, and little blonde hair.

4/9/05 09:47 am - The real letter to Bette.

Dear Bette,

We shared so many beautiful times together. You were the light and the love of my life, and all I wanted to do is raise a family with you. I just wanted you and I to live and laugh and grow old together. Even though things weren't perfect, I thought if I remained dedicated, we could get through anything.

I want to let you know that I am now seeing Alice and it is very serious. Things between you and I do not stand a chance of being repaired and I need to move on. Though I miss you, I know we were meant only to stay together long enough to create the child growing inside me. This is why I have made a difficult and confusing decision.

Daralyn Bettina Porter-Kennard is going to have three mommies. Alice and I will be primary, at-home mommies. You will most certainly have every right to see and have visitation with her. She will have your name. If we were straight, you and I would be her biological parents, and Alice would be the step-mother. I want you to know how important it is to me that we remain close friends and share the joy of raising our child.

Take care.

Love
Tina

4/8/05 11:50 pm - A Letter to Bette

Dear Bette,

I know you were hoping to be present in my daughters life, but I realize that I cannot let your negative influence and uptight attitude dominate my life anymore. Someone old/new has entered my life and I want to have her in my child's life as the other mother figure.

I know this must be a huge blow to your ego. Sometimes I still think about how wonderful our lives were together and how much good times we had. We could still be together, but you betrayed my trust, and for that I thank you. If I had never known how you could betray me, I would have ended up having you be the other mother for my child and it would have been very painful.

I hope you can heal yourself, and someday you can meet Daralyn Bettina Kennard.

Love
Tina

4/7/05 03:28 pm - Building a playground!

Well this is going to be tons of fun. We're actually going to be building a playground! All the materials used are recycled and non-toxic but we didn't have to use ANY wood! We found this amazing builder who is basically going to be doing the project for a fraction of what it would usually cost. We're going to advertise for them in our newsletter for the next year too!

Today at breakfast Al and I had a really meaningful talk. It was breif and then we ate a happy breakfast.

Alice and I are going to be a couple, I think. I just don't know what to do about the baby.

I am thinking that Bette will be involved, and have partial custody if she wants. But I want Alice involved, not like a step-parent but like, my partner.

Tonight I have a special dinner planned for her. It's completely HER! I'm not going to give it away...all I can say is our romantic music might be 80's!!!

And I also wanted to say, I am having a daughter. I have chosen a name for her.

Daralyn Bettina Porter-Kennard.

4/1/05 11:53 pm - ***relaxing at home***

*Sitting on the couch with my feet up on the ottoman. Wearing a flowy blue shirt and white capri pants, barefoot. It is evening, quiet, and I'm alone in the house because Alice has run to the store to get me a can of refried beans and saltines, which is what I'm really craving for some reason.*

Waiting for Alice to get home. This feels like a relationship. I think I might try to make a move on Alice when she comes home...

3/24/05 07:43 pm - Sorry to disappear

I've spent the last few days in bed. So much is going on in my mind right now. We just got a huge grant from the Peabody foundation, and now Helena Peabody herself is oddly courting me I think! She is romantic and sweet, but Bette just breaks my heart.

Al and I are living together and it is such a dream. I love her with all my heart, we've become so close. Tonight I told her that I'd finally crawl out of my room to paint toenails and gossip and eat popcorn and watch lesbian movies like High Art and The Incredible True Story of Two Girls in Love. I love that movie. :)

But I can't help but think about how soon the baby will be here, and what will happen once it's born....

3/17/05 09:44 am - Back at Alice's

Well I'm back at Alice's for the time being. I've decided to put my belongings in storage until Alice clears a 2 bedroom with the complex. For now, I don't want to clutter up Alice's whole place.

Alice is over at Jenny's right now, and I can't help but wonder if Bette is back from NY yet, if she's there, what she's doing. But I'm still moving on.

Everyone wants to hope we'll get back together, I know they do. They just want us to work things out, but its not that simple. If I accept Bette back, she'll know I'll allow her to cheat on me whenver she wants. And what about this child? I may need help raising it, but do I want Bette to be the one? Bette, who can't even control her sexual urges?

The sun is streaming in, it looks like such a beautiful day. I have a yoga class later, it's specifically for pregnant women. After, I may stop by the Planet to see if anyone's around. I know everyone has jobs and lives, and I don't want to hang out alone, but maybe I'll talk to Kit.

3/15/05 04:40 pm - Baby names?

Still trying to come up with baby names. I'm thinking something unisex, just in case, like Evan or Riley.

Any suggestions?
Powered by LiveJournal.com